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How to Love Yourself Again?

Written by Rana Rayhan
Inspired by : Power of positivity

Throughout life, we fall in and out of love with ourselves…a lot. Every time we have a negative thought about ourselves, we temporarily lose sight of our true loving nature. Though it might sound selfish, it is true that we must learn to love ourselves first before granting this love to others.
My five year old daughter recently asked my husband “Daddy, who do you love?” My husband instantly replied “Well, I love your mom sweetheart and I love you and your little brother.” She shocked him with a further unexpected question “Don’t you love yourself, daddy?”  Posing at this important cosmic question, as I might call, I realized that we unconsciously often count ourselves out in the cycle of granting love. By time, we as love granters, and I consider myself one, start to feel left out, unappreciated, taken for granted and in extreme cases feel unloved from others.
Ironically, once we start considering our souls a person who deserves to be loved the world becomes a better place because simply it becomes a reflection of what we see in our soul.  
‘You deserve the kind of love you give someone else.’
The big question is, why do we need to love ourselves first?

Using the reflection theory, the answer would be we attract people that are like us. The types of people that come into our lives are affected by our beliefs. We meet people who have made the same sorts of choices we make. All these choices reflect our values and our way of being from day to day, minute to minute. Given that, our personality is also reflected in the places we turn up... and so we end up being surrounded by people who are the same way.
The problem comes when you are attracted to people who are not on your same vibe. This means, you will end up with people who are not compatible with you, but who have something that you respect, or admire, or just desire. You want to be with the other person to feel good about yourself, to fill some hole inside you or to change what other people think about you. These relationships are doomed to failure from the start, because of the amount of energy it takes to maintain them.
On contrary, the right person for you has similar interests and views. Their life philosophy, work ethic…etc. matches yours perfectly.  If you like yourself, you will like the people you naturally meet, and who resemble you and they will like you back. If you don't like yourself, you will waste energy trying to get with people who aren't like you, or you will settle for being with someone you don't like.
Now the next big question is: How can we start loving ourselves?
Like I implied earlier, children already know but understand that they must love themselves, the same way they love others. We just drift from that built in feeling with the phases of growing up and learning to share that love with someone else. Can we be put back on track or is it late?
Good news is, it is never too late as long as we are still enjoying the blessing of life. Here are 6 simple ways to love yourself again.

1.    Celebrate yourself, as you are right now.
When you wake up each morning, thank yourself for everything that represents you. Thank your eyes for allowing you to see, your smile for making others smile, your hair for protecting your head from the sun, your body for giving you the ability to move, your mind for allowing you to think, your heart for letting you feel, etc.

You are literally a walking miracle, so don’t ever forget that.

Relish in every part of yourself as it is, because no other being on this planet came here to do what you came here to do. No one else has the same genetic makeup or capabilities, so rejoice in your entire unique splendor.   Read also: How to be happy at work?

2.     Give your inner child permission to come to life again.
Our inner child knows nothing of the pain we have wrapped ourselves in so tightly for much of our lives – it only knows love and compassion. He or she wants us to express ourselves fully, as we did as children. The inner child waits longingly for you to grow tired of living in the confines of a conditioned world, and wants you to enjoy life again. He or she can’t wait to see you let go and dance to the music inside your soul.

Ignite the spark within you and give up the desire to fit in to any standard set by society; live up to your own standards instead. One of the best ways to love ourselves is to simply be ourselves.

3.     Fully forgive yourself.
Any wrongdoings or mistakes are all a part of your journey – you don’t have to feel ashamed or guilty about anything you said or did in the past. Fully embrace the ups and downs of this existence, and accept that your imperfections make you perfect. You didn’t know in the past what you know now, so you had to experience certain tests and trials in order to grow as a person. The entirety of creation dwells within you, so remember this next time you go down the path of self-destructive thoughts. Read also: How to find inner joy? 

You directly reflect the cosmos, and the totality of your experiences is necessary in order for the universe to know itself better. Everything that you go through only gets you closer to your highest self. So, love yourself.

4. Practice loving-kindness meditation.

Before you can show love and kindness to anyone else, you need to give it a place to live within you. You need to let it permeate through every cell of your being, and become the qualities you seek outside of yourself. One of the best ways to cultivate love and kindness within is to meditate on these states of being. Imagine yourself as a being of light, who radiates with compassion and love for yourself and everyone on this Earth.

Take in this energy from the universe, and allow it to exist in your spiritual being. Do this for at least thirty minutes a day, and try not to think about anything else but love and kindness. By introducing new thought loops into your brain, you can retrain it to think more lovingly instead of fearfully.

5. You are already whole.

You don’t need anything outside yourself to become whole – you represent the entire universe, and you have everything you need already. You have love, compassion, strength, happiness, and all the things you seek outside yourself that you may have forgotten you already possess. You embody the consciousness that everything on this planet came from, and you make this universe come to life. Without you, the entire chemistry of the collective consciousness would change, because you make up an intrinsic part of it. You are the whole and a part to the whole simultaneously.

Never doubt your completeness, and feel it in every bone in your body. Say “I am complete” to yourself every day, and you will slowly begin to remember this fundamental aspect of yourself.

6. Do what your heart wants.

Never deny what your soul longs for – after all, that call is the reason you’re here. Whatever you feel drawn to, go after it. If you want to travel the world, do it. If you want to start an organic garden, start it. Don’t wait until tomorrow or next month or next year; do what you want while you can. To love yourself, you must nourish your soul and listen to your innermost desires. You can’t love yourself if you reject what you came here to do. We all have different likes and dislikes, but these characteristics help us get in touch with our highest selves.

Follow your bliss; it will take you to a place you could have only imagined in your wildest dreams.  Read also: How to Be Successful in Life and Death in 10 Steps ?

Be ready. Love yourself.

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